Never Tell Me the Odds!

Another Monday Morning

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 13:24:14 GMT

Up early and off to PT in the freezing cold. On the one hand, it woke me up. It's thrilling in a sense to be taking something like my health so seriously, hitting the gym, watching what I eat, that kind of thing. Body image is something I've always struggled with, but it sort of occurred to me that I don't have to listen to what others think. Not listening isn't the same as ignoring, so I'll take what people have to say to heart and at least consider it, but anything that isn't constructive I can just let go. Fuck negative people.

School's going well, if I keep working at it, I figure I can make it to the top of my program. The odds are long, considering the boat I'm in, but I've always worked best with my back against the wall and someone to prove wrong. With some luck, Christmas magic, and the skills I learned in IB, I figure I can pull this off.

On an incredibly random note, I bought a Nerf gun recently. Here are some things I learned:

1/ Military training + a Nerf gun = being asked to leave the toy store
2/ Toy store clerks are not impressed by "gun twirling"
3/ Nerf guns disperse crowds of zombies (who knew?)
4/ I am not Indiana Jones, Han Solo, Robocop, or James Bond
5/ Walking into a store with a Nerf gun makes the clerk get you Scribblenauts faster.

By the way, play Scribblenauts. It's a lot of fun summoning Cthulu to destroy a crowd of pirates.

I'm off to the gym.

Till next week!

An Update!

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:37:15 GMT

Reading my older entries, I find that I "meta-write". I write about daily events from an analytical perspectives rather than explaining them as they transpired, which isn't so much the point of a journal. So, ironically, as I've specifically pointed this out, I'm going to avoid it.

What's new... school seems to be going well. I love what I do, as I find that politics really enhances my ability to see things objectively, as well as my ability to argue. I definitely think I could pull off law school one day, and let the military pay for it.

On the subject of the military, I got my re-muster! Finally back in the navy, and God, how I missed it, being on the water. I never gave it much thought before, accepting being in the army initially for Tina, but after we went our separate ways, it occurred to me that being in the navy would make me happy. And so, I went for it, and switched majors (again) to something I like to do. I finally feel that I've made the right choice. Hell, I have the time to work on my Magic skills, even coming in second place one night. I guess the only things that aren't going well are my being single and only being able to afford coming home twice a year. I've come to terms with the former being essentially random, and that the best thing I can do is keep my options open, and that all I can do wrt the latter is try to save more. I'm better off than a lot of my other friends, who have to pay to go to school, and work on top of that, so I'm certainly grateful, the onus is on me to manage myself better.

I should probably head to bed, see if I can't grab enough sleep to justify getting up before noon. Bonsoir!

Out of Left Field

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:11:17 GMT

Hey everyone. I've been out of touch for a long time, now, having missed everyone... somehow... during my last two (three?) visits, meaning it's going on two years since I've seen you last. I'm sure you're all well, and I think we may ALL need to work on staying in touch. I'm never on here, but I'm almost always on MSN/ Facebook. Give me a shout, let me know what's new and exciting.

Smart out.

You're Good, Kid...

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:37:34 GMT

But not THAT good. Anyway, on a less bizarre note, I'm actually enjoying some free time, as I didn't have to go to my Mechanics tutorial, because I did my homework! Yay for turning over a new leaf! Speaking of, I really need to work out. Like every day. I can do it. I think. I have to get into shape for the frequent and somewhat ridiculous PT tests this year. If I can keep up with school and work out, I should have it made.

I'm pretty pissed at Telus for reasons that are entirely the fault of said company. For my next plan, I might go witb another company. Meh.

Beyond that, hoping I get picked to come home for a week in October on a recruiting trip.

A good, and much needed, visit

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:10:15 GMT

As the title implies, I had a great visit, with Rebecca and Michaela. I hadn't seen them in forever, and we just hung out, caught up. Hope you guys had fun, I'm sorry I'm kinda boring. We'll hang out on Tuesday, and maybe we'll go to a film. Keep me posted, and I'll contact Dave, Henry, and Emily.

On a side note, my parents started bidding on a house! With my dad getting out of the army, I guess they decided it was time. Strange, but I guess it's vain and foolish to think that life would stop changing. Hell, it's vain and foolish to hope so. But I can be vain and foolish.

On the topic of change, I wonder how much I've changed. I was told once that I was "the epitome of good". It was weird at the time, coming from Larissa, but I'll never forget it. Kiley told me something similar, this last spring. So, I suppose my values haven't changed, but I like to think I've matured. Maybe grown a bit apart, seen some different things. I know I've faced a lot of my fears down, done what I needed to do. Am I a different person? I've never really thought about who I was, though I remember caring too much what people thought of me, once. It was Emily who taught me not to care. Since, I've found refuge among those I consider like myself, and have found many friends, from all over Canada, and the world. I've found happiness, and some success. They say that in this world, one must adapt to survive, always embrace change.

But I don't know. I don't judge others, and can't really judge myself so well. Maybe I haven't changed. But maybe I shouldn't care so much. I worry too much about things I ought not to. Like finding a relationship. I just have to relax and let life happen.

Any thoughts?

And I think It's Gonna be a Long, Long Time....

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 00:49:06 GMT

Well, time for another sporadic update. It's been one hell of a summer so far. Rocked my Basic Officer Training Course, and got to do some wicked stuff, like a zipline crossing over a river, spray gunfire on full automatic while sprinting, bayonet fighting (which big guys rock at), some sketchy missions, and having a blast in the field. French training sucked, but I got to practice a lot of speaking, and I should be bilingual by Christmas. That'd be exciting, anyway, an extra 5 hours off each week.

In terms of a personal life, not much new to report. Trying to spend time with friends and family, trying to check out the dating scene. Haha. But seriously.

More to follow...

The Man in Black fled across the Desert...

Fri, 09 May 2008 02:02:20 GMT

It's been a long, long time.

I couldn't keep away, I suppose.

How firm our resolutions are, as strong as we each are... says a lot about a person. People... I wish I'd kept in better touch with many of the people back home, that they'd kept in better touch with me. I'm going to make more of an effort, I think. Old friends shouldn't be neglected, and I regret that. I regret a number of things about this past year. I regret not seeking help when I needed it. I regret not being able to come home more often. I regret the way things ended with Tina. I regret that last one the most, I think. I thought I'd made the best choice for us, and... it wasn't what she wanted. There is no point in living in the past, and I've moved past all of that. But I see now that I should have let her go when I left. We would have both been hurt, but things would have ended better. I hope she's found someone new, that she's happy. With all my heart.

But I don't regret leaving. I've met some amazing people, done some pretty wicked things- section attacks, pistol shooting, and I haven't even gooten to the grenade range yet. I'm getting a degree in Space Sciences (a choice I'm more than happy with!), and am guaranteed a job when I graduate. I'm happy here. And grateful for the opportunity. As to my personal life, I spend a lot of time with friends, and try to keep in touch with my family and friends back home. No woman, at least not yet, but I'm sort of working on it.

... Reading this, and reading old posts... I haven't changed a bit. And I love it.

The Man in Black fled across the desert... and the Gunslinger followed.

And he will.

Yeah, I know...

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 00:45:19 GMT

What's one or two more entries? Not much is new- it finally snowed, soaking everything and making transportation a total loss. I come home very early in the morning on the 16th of December (plane leaves 7 pm on the 15th), and have few plans besides visit as many people as possible over the break. I'd like to at least see the two of you while I'm home- we should set something up. Other than that, I have to learn chemistry. I'll try to talk to you guys soon, alright?

The Last Post

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 02:48:02 GMT

Well, after... a real long time on this gong show, I'm hanging up my keyboard for good. It's been fun, but it's virtually pointles to keep posting entries that go largely unread, is it not? I can keep in touch using more meaningful methods of correspondance, ones that I'll think to use more readily. It's been fun, but I find it increasingly difficult to summarize the events of a day into an entry whose readers can not know the context, as it would be time consuming for me to do and for them to read. I'll let them take the initiative.

That being said... life here at RMC is okay. The food is alright, the teachers good at what they do, save for my physics teacher, who is the most boring man alive. I actually like chemistry again, due to the efforts of my professor, Dr. Weir. I do have to do some army crap every now and again, such as the Wednesday morning deathmarch, and the weekly parade every Monday morning, but other than that and the uniforms, it's a lot like civilian university. I do miss home sometimes, but I get along ok.

I'm recovering from a successful surgery on my foot, and can walk again. Even so, I was more mangled when Tina and I broke up in September. I didn't know what I was going to do, how I could carry on. I was mislead and hurt, nearly destroyed. Yet, I carried on. It was all I could do. And I would not have made it this far without my friends. Thank you, you guys. And I hope I'll get to see you over the holidays. More so, I hope you'll have the time to talk to me before then. Hey, I know how busy things are, don't worry. But you know when you're free, so give me a call, just about anytime. Alright?

And on this medium, goodbye.

Adrian

"If you strike me down..."

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:01:18 GMT

Senior Year

1. Who was your best friend?
Dave

2.Did you have a bf/gf?
I did.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
When I did, a Dodge Grand Caravan.

4. It's Friday night, where were you?
At Henry's house, or with Rebecca and Michaela.

5. Were you a partier?
No.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
Dunno. Doubt it.

7. Ever skip school?
Twice.

8. Were you a nerd?
Very likely.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled
Never.

11. Can you sing the fight song?
What?

12. Who was your favorite teacher?
Doyle, or Senuik.

13. Favorite class?:
English and Social

14. What was your school's full name?
M.E. LaZerte Composite High School.

15. School mascot?
Mel, the voyageur!

16. Did you go to Prom?
Yeah- it was awesome!

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
I would.

18. What do you remember most about graduation?
Being with Tina and feeling loved.

19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
Being with Tina, fun times with friends, gong show classes, defeating IB.

20. Where were you on senior skip day?
At school, for the morning.

21.Did you have a job during your senior year?
I worked at the Great Room.

22. Where did you go most often for lunch?
Tina's locker.

24. What did you do after graduation?
Joined the army.

25. When did you graduate?
June 2007

26. Who was your Senior prom date?
Tina

27. Are you going to your 10 year reunion?
We'll see.

28. Who was your home room teacher?
Doyle. Block 2, day a

30. Who was your class president?
Some guy. Should've been me. IB should at least count- that guy only had to do 3 classes a semester and no extra essays... calm... calm...

It's just a jump to the left...

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 12:52:56 GMT

Let's do the time warp agaaaaiiiiinnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!

Borrowed from Michaela.

20 years ago in 1987
I didn't exist.

10 years ago in 1997
In the third grade, discussing evolution with Mr. Moodley

5 years ago in 2002
In Grade 8, slacking off in geography, getting into Warhammer, making some awesome friends.

3 years ago in 2004
In Grade 10, having made the fateful choice to join IB. I started sitting next to a girl named Michaela and her friend Emily in Cook's Fascist English class, and had a good year.

2 years ago in 2005
An amazing year- the IB blitzkrieg, the physics group, and not all that much homework.

A year ago in 2006
The defeat of IB, year with Tina, swim team, English, and hanging with friends.

Yesterday
More army crap, a chem lab, surgery follow up.

Today
Had an inspection from the colonel, ate breakfast. Who knows what else?

Tomorrow
More jugyou and work. Hopefully I'll get the rest of my Stats done. I want to scan that picture too.

Next year
More army crap, hopefully I'll meet someone new, more school.

Hm.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 23:57:15 GMT

OHMYFREAKINGGODMYGODDAMNFOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I just had surgery done, and they cut off a chunk of my foot. And it hurts. So badly. It bled a lot, too. It needed to be done, but Tylenol-3s aren't even dulling the pain. Not a bit. So I'm going to pop some painkillers again, and go to bed. 'Night, guys.

I need to find a date! When I can walk again.

Exhausted from a Weekend of Relaxing

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:46:33 GMT

Another weekend come and gone. I hate how I live weekend to weekend now- I used to really enjoy school. It's just so hectic. Things are mostly ok, at least. Physics is rough- I honestly don't think I should become an engineer, sometimes. But how useful is a history degree? Ah, well. I've faced worse odds.

I'm realizing that trying to find a date to the Christmas Ball is damn hard. So frustrating.

Not much else is new. I'm due homw on December 15, so, Michaela, I think a drink may be in order. Or 5. Peut-etre? It's up to you.

Hopefully, I'll be able to see you guys at some point over the Christmas break. Call me sometime, ok?

'Bye, guys.

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 23:00:18 GMT

Stolen from Michaela. Enjoy.

1. Where were you when the ball dropped for 2007?
At my friend Erik's house.

2. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Berni, we're out of crackers!

3. What are you listening to right now?
The voices....

4. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
No.

5. What color underwear are you wearing?
Blue.

6. Do you live in a zoo?
No, I live in a ghetto.

7. What did you do this morning?
Woke up, gong-showed my way through an inspection, ate, went to class for 8.

8. What does your mom do for a living?
Stays at home, generally does everything.

9. Where do you work?
I'm in the army. I work where I'm told.

10. What are your favorite smells?
Strawberries, banana muffins, gunpowder, bacon.

11. What are the last two digits of your phone number?
22

12. What was the last concert you attended?
Meat Loaf!

13. Who was with you?
My dad, + Tina.

14. What was the last movie you watched?
Donnie Darko.

15. What do you dislike at the moment?
This ridiculous, uncomfortable, uniform!!

16. What do you crave right now?
An ice cold iced tea.

17. Did you dream last night?
No, for once.

18. What was the last TV show you watched?
Family Guy.

19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
My only one is my dog tags, really.

20. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
AHHHHH!!!

21. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
Hard to say. Emily, Amy, or Christina.

My friend Patrick the Gong Show Sailor!

23. Are you on any medication?
Keflex, some hardcore antibiotics. I go for surgery on Monday.

24. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Either.

25. What color shirt are you wearing?
Mint green. Yay, army...

26. What color is your razor?
Orange?

27. What is your favorite frozen treat?
Klondikes.

28. How many tattoos/piercings do you have?
None.

29. What are your favorite stores?
Games Workshop, Best Buy, Chapters, HMV.

30. Are you thirsty right now?
Hey, yeah! One sec...

31. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married?
I'd certainly like to, one day.

32. Who’s someone you haven’t seen in awhile and miss?
Michaela, Rebecca, Emily, Amy, my brother, my parents,... wow.

33. What did you do last night?
Messed around on Jedi Academy.

34. Do you care what people think about you?
Not really.

35. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble?
What, you wanna fight?

36. Do you like your nose?
Straight outta left field. I guess.

37. What color is your room?
White.

38. When was the last time you worked out?
About an hour ago.

39. Do you like pedicures?
Yeah! Especially because the place I went that one time had cats and dogs to pet. ^_^

40. Where do you live?
RMC

41. Are you an aggressive driver?
No.

42. Who is your cell phone carrier?
Telus. Telus what?

43. Do you like the person who posted this last?
Of course.

44. Do you know their birthday?
Dec. 15, 1989.

45. What is the thing you’d most want to change about yourself?
My looks.

46. What color is your car?
Car?

47. What do you smell like right now?
Clean.

48. What is your favorite color?
Blue.

49. Do you like mustard?
Sure, it's good on some things.

50. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
Never tell me the odds!!

51. Would you ever sky dive?
Maybe.

52. What do you sleep on?
A planet.

53. Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
Once or twice.

54. What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant?
Huh.

55. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Yeah. Everyone needs one once in a while.

56. Would you consider yourself to be fashionable?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahano.

57. Do you own a digital camera?
Yep.

58. What celebrities have you been compared to?
Harrison Ford, Slash, Jesus.

59. What does your 19th test message say?
"U still alive?"

60. How ’bout your 30th?
N/A

61. Who did you hang out with last night?
My roommate, Berni.

62. What are you doing this Saturday? Hall
I dunno.

At Last...

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 04:12:39 GMT

I got an email from Tina a day or two ago. She finally told me WHY. I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear that... I thought I was alright before, but now I finally feel at peace. It's dead and gone and I can move on. She even said she'd send me a few of my things, more than I could've hoped for, I guess. I even decided to start writing again. I highly doubt any of my writing is very good, but I don't worry about that anymore. In fact, I'm not worried about much, though I should work on finding a date to the Christmas Ball. Meh. Never tell me the odds!

I bought a Poison CD today. It's a kick ass CD- you guys should download some Poison. Some 80s rock. Y'know?

School's ok, but I think I hate Physics. Just flat out hate it. I really doubt my success in this occupation as an engineer. Ah, well. I'll fake it and nail Chem.

'Night guys. Call me!

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 02:04:24 GMT

The Rebellious Teen Purity Test
100 questions. Add up your "yes"
Scoring is at the end of the test.

Sex
Have you ever made out with the opposite sex? yes
The same sex? no
Someone you weren't in a relationship with? yes
Have you done anything that qualifies as 'almost sex'? yes
To both genders? no
Had sex in a public place? nope
Have you cheated on someone? nope
Cheated with someone? nope
Looked at/bought/DL'd/watched porn? yeah
Do you take birth control/condoms? no
TOTAL: 4

Drugs
Have you smoked cigars more than once? yes
Used weed or other natural substances, like shrooms or salvia? no, I'd get kicked out of the army!
Used hard drugs? nope
Used needle drugs or inhalants? nope
Used prescription pills to get high? nope
Bought drugs? nope
Sold drugs? nope
Introduced someone else to their first drug? nope
Overdosed? nope
Been in rehab or in trouble with the law for drugs? nope
TOTAL: 1

Rock N' Roll
Do you listen to hard rock, metal, punk, grunge or hardcore gangster rap? Yeah!!
Have you been to a real rock/metal/punk concert? Yeah, Meat Loaf!!
Have you moshed, headbanged, or slam-danced? Yep
Are you or have you been in a rock/metal/punk band? sorta... long story
Have you had complaints from neighbours for loud music? yep
Do you rave, or have you been to one? no
Does your music typically contain screaming or lots of profanity? no
Does your music typically talk about anarchy, crime, suicide or drugs? no
TOTAL: 5

Smashed
Have you drank hard alcohol? Yum yum, whisky and rum!
Do you drink often? As often as possible
Have you taken shots? Oh, yeah
Have you thrown up from drinking? No
Have you passed out? No
Have you played drinking games? One or two. Few folks drink like soldiers.
Was your first real drink before the age of 15? Yep.
Have you woken up not remembering the night before? No
Have you done anything sexual while drunk that you wouldn't have sober? No
Have you ever paid a stranger to buy you booze? No
TOTAL: 5

Five-Finger Discounts & Mailbox Baseball
Have you shoplifted? no
Have you gone joyriding or broken into someone's house? no
Used a fake ID? no
Have you done real graffiti (other than bathroom stall notes)? no
Any other kind of vandalism, like mailbox baseball or breaking a window? no
Been naked or drunk (or both at once) in public? Well...
Are you/have you been in a street gang? no
Packed a weapon? no
Caused a fire, car accident, or other dangerous situation? Lol, yeah. Basic training=disaster
Ever been arrested? no
TOTAL: 2

A Disruption to Other Students
Have you failed a class? no
Been suspended? yes
Been expelled? no
Cut class? yes
Cussed out a teacher, humiliated/pranked them, or vandalised their stuff? yes, I swore at my fourth grade teacher once.
Stolen from someone's locker, or put something nasty in it? no
Held or participated in a protest at school? no
Got into a fight at school? yes
Done drugs at school? no
Deliberately offended or humiliated the principal? no
TOTAL: 4

She's Got A Septum Ring and Green Liberty Spikes
Have you gotten piercings in places other than the ears? no
Have you dyed your hair unnatural or different colours? yes
Have you gotten any tattoos? not yet. soon.
Have you ever had a mohawk, dreads, liberty spikes, or other odd hairdos? maybe...
Have you ever cut your own hair or shaved your head? yeah
Do you wear dark or unusual makeup? (or any makeup, if you're male) no
Do you wear any unusual accessories (like bunny ears,fangs,armwarmers) no
Do you ever dress slutty, gothy, punk, raver, gangsta, emo, artsy, hippie, etc.? no
Do you usually sag your pants, wear chains or spikes, or wear all black? no
Do you like to make or modify your own clothing? no
Do you break the school dress code often? no
TOTAL: 3

Shit Happens
Have you ever been in juvy or prison/arrested? no
Have you been the victim of a violent crime? no
Have you committed a violent crime? no
Have you ever almost died? yes
Do you have any mental illnesses? no
Is your family a dysfunctional mess? Sometimes I wonder jk
Have you attempted suicide? no
Have you ever self-mutilated or had an eating disorder? no
Have you ever had a substance habit? no
TOTAL: 1

We're Very Disappointed In You
Ever snuck out of the house or snuck someone in? once or twice.
Ever had a party while your parents were out? no
Ever steal from your parents? nope
Ever crash your parents' car? nope
Run away? no
Been grounded for a month or more? no
Been caught by your parents in the act of doing something illegal? no
Been caught by your parents while doing anything intimate with someone? no, thank god
Had a parent say you couldn't hang out with a certain person? no
Had a parent toss (search) your room/backpack/car? no
TOTAL: 1

Amateur Jackass
Ever skinnydipped? no
Set something large on fire? yes
Stapled yourself? no
Jumped into water with all your clothes on? yeah
Played a well-planned, huge, public practical joke on someone? nope
Ridden or raced in shopping carts? yeah
Streaked? no
Danced on a table Coyote Ugly style? no
Stayed up for two or more nights in a row on purpose? yeah. Ever hear of the extended essay?
Set off illegal fireworks? no
Made mass amounts of prank calls at once? no
TOTAL: 4

the BIG TOTAL: 30

Find your score:
0- 10: Impossible. I'm surprised you're even old enough to read this.
11 - 20: Pretty damn innocent. I say you need more internet exposure.
21 - 30: Pretty sheltered...you go to church, right?
31 - 40: OK, this is acceptable - you might still be young. Go party.
41 - 50: You've played it a little safe, but still have a lot of fun.
51- 60 - There we go, you're the average rebellious teen.
61 - 70: You can party. Either that, or you just have lots of problems.
71 - 80: You're experienced in the art of rebelling, that's for sure.
81 - 90: Damn, you might actually wanna slow down...
91 - 100: How on earth are you still alive? You've actually done it all!

Hmph. What does this know?

"Lock S-foils in Attack Position!"

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 00:56:47 GMT

Well, another all-too-short weekend gone. On the one hand, it's that much closer to Christmas (I'm booking my flight this week!). On the other, exams are over, so I have another week of actually having to go to class. Hell. I guess university can't all be crazy parties... or can it? More on this to follow. But I did relax this weekend- I didn't even go out. Had a drink with an old friend, and mostly just did homework and watched movies.

I posted a new userpic! Me at the foot of the CN Tower- I have never seen anything so massive in my entire life. And it's totally useless, save as a curiousity for the tourists. Another extraneous (if cool) monument to the gong show logic of our species, lol.

Things are ok, I guess. Friends help, and so does keeping active- I have abs and shoulders now! There's hardly any fat on me, now. There's a diet- the Army Diet. Limited time to eat, plus a fitness blitzkrieg everyday. ...Maybe not so good for recruiting....

What else... my phone's acting really weird. Whenever I get a text, the ringer won't go off, and sometimes, the sender address will be an entirely wrong number! I'll have to make it last until I'm home at Christmas to replace it, though. Speaking of, I hope to be able to call you guys this week- haven't talked to you two in a while, especially you, Rebecca. And I'm sorry.

But, I should get ready for the week... I will talk to you later!

Sat, 20 Oct 2007 23:40:37 GMT

Borrowed from Rebecca, but too intriuging to pass up.

YOU GET :
One question.
One chance.
One honest answer.
That's all you get.
You get to ask me one question.
Any question, anything, no matter how crazy or personal it is.
And I promise to answer truthfully.
No catch.

Ask away.

So... Blah

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 19:36:36 GMT

Slept in for the first time in about 4 months, and it was incredible! I was up late though, my roommate and I ordered pizza, and a bunch of people watched the South Park movie on my laptop. It was cool, but they trashed my room. Oh, well. It was easy enough to clean. I wish I would DO something! I can't study, so I've spent the last 2 hours pointlessly surfing the web. Time well spent, no?

I talked with Sampson last night. I ended up getting really depressed because I doubt I'll ever find a girl who appreciates me and all that I am/do. Christ, I joined the army for Tina, to find out that she never really supported me, and that she may never have loved me. I was led on and hurt. I'm sick of it. Nice guys always finish last, while total bastards win over the best girls, then hurt them. The irony of life makes me sick, and more than a little angry. Now, I feel empty. Why bother? Sure, being in love is the greatest sensation on Earth, but to love and not have it reciprocated... sigh.

I need a drink.

Down and Out. Mostly out.

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 01:16:02 GMT

Wow, my first night off in what seems like forever. Let's recap these last few months...

I've graduated, joined the army, left home, done basic training, started school, lost the woman I loved, visited home (which was so... strange!), and come back. Willingly. So much... it feels like a lifetime. Maybe it is one. Je sais pas. Come to think of it, I really don't know much. Not so terrible. At times, ignorance is bliss.

I'm feeling much better. Almost back to normal, despite the occasional blast of sadness and longing. I don't know why though. I suppose it's human nature to love the fire that burns you. Stupid humans. Ah, well. I tried to watch a movie tonight, but my friend stole it and ran away to watch it. Donnie Darko. Remember when we watched that, you guys? Such an IB movie.

I'm working on getting my flights booked so I can come home at Christmas- I'd better be able to see you guys *adopts commanding army tone*... or else! Lol.

Anyhow, not much else to report... except that I almost missed my calculus midterm. Didn't know where the room was, or at what time. Lol, my first university exam. A real high note, no?

Once more into the breach...

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 23:33:58 GMT

Midterms start tomorrow! Estille! Tabernac! Oh, well. IB's made me an expert at bullshitting my way through these things, and I have the Force as my ally. I think. Should be ok. I'm tired, though. Overslept until 5 minutes before class started, but still made it on time! Glad I laid out my uniform the night before. Gladder(?) still, the weekend is come! It'll be nice to relax for a change.

This random girl keeps hitting on me in Phys. ed. I'm not sure what to make of it, or what I ought to do. I feel it still may be too soon. Advice?

Anyhow, I should try to study. Calculus was hardly my strongest subject. 'Night guys.

Still the Same Guy

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 23:36:03 GMT

LMAO! I started and finished a formal chem lab write up last night! It was due today, so I figured I would. IB has NOT taught me any good study skills. Hell, to be honest, it hasn't taught me anything at all. It DID get me out of first year english here...

The week's almost over, and I'm even feeling confident about the calculus midterm on Friday. Most important, after almost 4 weeks, I think I may be beginning to heal. I feel... happy. I dunno. May just be more delirium.

Not much else to report. Getting in great shape, and doing well. Talk to you all later!

Victory to the Soviet Union!

The Second Homecoming

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 17:59:55 GMT

Ah, back to school. It was so GREAT to come home for a visit- I needed that. Sorry I didn't get to see you, Rebecca. Text me once in a while, though. It'd be great to hear from you.

Anyhow, school's ok so far. Doing alright, not looking forward to midterms at all. Who has time to study for them? Bought a laptop, and I pretty much tricked it right out. It's a very nice machine. ...What else? I still hurt like hell, and I've been beating myself up trying to figure out how I screwed it up. But I can't think of anything. I tried to be the most caring, empathetic, romantic, altruistic, loving guy I could be. That I am. And it wasn't enough. Hell, I'm not even sure how long I was led on. After ten and a half months, it hurt. I'd never been so lost in my life. I think I'm recovering, but I have quite a way to go. I don't know what I would've done without my friends. So long as people need me, I'll have more than reason enough to carry on. I'm a tough old sumbitch. heh heh

Take care, everyone. I should be able to post more often now, but we'll see.

Keep in touch!

END OF ACT 3

How Many Times Must I DIE? Jesus!

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 18:44:59 GMT

Hello everyone! Hope everyone's ok, that things are going well. School's good on my end, grades are fantastic so far. I'm home this weekend, maybe if you guys aren't busy, I'll get to see you Saturday night? I'd like to, and I only found out for certain I could come home 2 days ago, so the short notice isn't ALL my fault...

For those who haven't heard, Tina and I aren't together anymore. Not much more I can, or feel like, saying. Give me a call or text about this weekend, ok?

Out.

Left, Right, Left, We Cross the Front...

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 14:33:10 GMT

Left, right, left, we ALL fall down, like toy soldiers....

Hi. Hope everyone's having a good summer, that everything's all good, that you two are well. Dave, keep posting to LJ- hate to have to put a bayonet in you :). Rebecca, I dunno if you got my letter or not, but I'd love to here from you. Michaela has the address if you don't. My cell's up and running, too, so feel free to call evenings/ weekends too, you guys. Anyway, I have to go. Take care everyone- keep in touch?

Talk to you soon.